Well, did you evah? What a swell party this is....

(based on the lyrics of the late, great Cole Porter)

• Here lies Miss Mimsey Starr -
  She got pinched in the Astor bar
   
• Here lies poor old Martin Hupp -
  He crossing the bridge when the bridge was up
   
• Reggie's rather scatterbrained -
  He dove in when the pool was drained
   

• Here lies Captain Gregg -
  He got termites in his wooden leg
   
• Here lies poor dear Blanche -
  Got run down by an avalanche
   
• Here lies Professor Munch -
  He ate his wife & divorced his lunch
   

I've been to a marvelous party....

(based on the brilliance that was Noel Coward)

Choked on the olive from her nightly booster
After an Italian rooster abruptly goosed her

Some called her scatty, or a little bit batty
But this rare medium lived a life well-done

Her daughter never acted upon the stage
Which cause her mother much ire and rage

Hurrah, hurrah for Mrs. A
At last you are deflowered
I love you this and every day,
Sincerely, Noel Coward